Whether to undergo a vasectomy procedure is a personal decision. If you decide to keep it to yourself and your partner, that’s completely acceptable. Some men might feel like asking friends for advice before the vasectomy, while others might want to share their experience to help friends better understand the procedure.

If you feel comfortable talking about family planning goals and decisions with friends, here are some tips to keep in mind:

Say only as much as you want

When talking about having a vasectomy, you might feel pressure from friends to elaborate on details you’d rather keep private, such as discussions you’ve had with your partner. It’s okay to stop talking when you’ve reached your limit of exposure. Simply tell your friend(s), “I’d rather keep that to myself.” Keep it simple and polite.

Get the facts right

If you’re giving information about the vasectomy procedure, it’s important to share only accurate information to avoid confusing somebody about a modern surgery that’s low-risk, low-cost and more than 99% effective. Likewise, if somebody tells you something about vasectomy that doesn’t sound quite right, check with your vasectomy surgeon to get the real story. There are quite a few myths and misconceptions about vasectomy floating around even now.

Feel free to disregard your unhelpful opinions

If you’re asking friends whether you should or shouldn’t get a vasectomy, you’re opening the door to possible dissent. You might have practically made up your mind to use this method of permanent contraception when a friend tells you it may not be a good idea. Even if you find that friends do or don’t agree with your choice, the most important opinions to consider are your own and your partner’s. If you aren’t getting the support you were looking for from your friends, change the subject.

When talking about your (or a friend’s) prospective vasectomy, be prepared to receive (or give) honesty and support. Remember: You can keep the topic of family planning and contraception between you and your partner. If involving your friends, stick to politeness and the facts.